AMBIENCE,the character,atmosphere and appearance of a place.

I’m exhausted!Literally and metaphorically .I can’t cry,I can’t laugh,I can’t breathe and I can’t end myself,at this point I’m a living dummy/corpse .Everyone is fed up of asking,no one understands that a smile grew to a mask and overwhelmed me .I’m by myself…I think it’s my fault. What now?

“I wish the nurse had mercy on my soul and killed me during birth”Alfred Nobel himself said more than I can explain in a million words. Why wasn’t I born an animal?A short-term lifespan of simplicity,worrying only of food and survival and I mean literal jungle survival .I just want to shout out to the woods,cry into the wild,wishing animals could talk for they seem to know more than they anticipate .Seem to be good listeners than they appear to be and great healers of nature.

The truth is I don’t know what I want,I don’t know if I want to die,if I want to live,laugh or cry…indecision is my disease,curse and torment .My heart is always beating faster and faster,my stomach and intestines tingling and I feel like puking my stresses out .If you told me to explain I wouldn’t know where to start and don’t say from the beginning like a psychiatrist cause my everything has no beginning and I can’t see any ending any time soon.

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

By E,E Cummings.

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