I’m too used to faking my smile it’s the only thing I know,I can’t remember myself anymore .It’s the smile of raw excruciating pain.”I’m ok”is my logo go to catchphrase .sometimes it’s too much I laugh at myself crazy .Obviously this is Africa,no one cares about mental health or therapy .This very moment I feel like crying,laughing,vomiting,fainting and running away all at the same time .No big enough paper of writing,drawing or painting can explain the thoughts of my mind,the emotions in my heart and the embodiment of my soul.

My little smile act gone too far I can’t turn back….the feeling of no man on earth to understand my pain,story and experience still haunting me,so pointless and needless to explain cause to many it’s another “Sad story from Africa.”

Not my mum,not my bestie can empathize or sympathise with me and my drowning soul .God my only turn and solution but how fast I turn on him ,too many times to even look back .Sometimes I think it’s karma,my punishment from God.”I deserve it”Sometimes can’t avoid the atheist thought,feeling and emotion of wishing God were physically here comforting me .Cause sometimes my faith and hope feel empty but I still fight hoping this is just a phase.

Love cannot live where there is no trust.

By Cupid and Psyche in Greek mythology.


  1. Hey, I feel the same way too sometimes. Like no one understands. And you just wonder where God is at those moment but I promise you, He’s always right there.


  2. Thanks for expressing your feelings, and, if it’s any comfort, these feelings are felt by many.
    Thanks, too, for following our travel blog, Oh, the Places We See. Hopefully, we’ll share some joy that comes from seeing places in different ways.


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