It was so sensational,a sooth of calming rush engulfed me .It was a lullaby of silence,it was silence’s lullaby and lullaby’s silence….it had no words .I remained still,afloat and engulfed,I never wanted to leave .In all my life,I was taught by my mum and lived by”Hell is people,hell is society and hell is your peers”In real life I was always the quiet kid,the weird one .I hated that and for that I hated myself,soon enough by time it made me love being alone but people didn’t understand being alone didn’t mean I was lonely and that made me a bit more weird and a bit more beneficial for me.

I never understood or liked the world’s social order. The thing with being loved is you always worry that you’ll be hated,for people not to talk behind your back,for that love never to fade away and for your shine and glamour never to run out or dim one day from a simple,little and lousy mistake,it’s about always wanting to be perfect and being that way even in front of others .The thing with being hated is that it goes two ways for me,one will cry and hate themselves for it and the other will acknowledge and embrace that fact,both being very dangerous situations.

The first one is obsessed with being loved and noticed,they become naive and gullible to any small positive attention and are afraid of the bigger negative given to them,the second for various reasons wants to be the bad guy,to be hated and probably feared,I don’t know why but I once heard this saying”If you and others are the best at being good and get the attention,I won’t be second at being good and get beat down,I will lure my attention at being the best at being bad.”It actually touched and made sense to me.

I was still there meditating and enjoying my time in nowhere,my perfect paradise.

At the end of the game,the king and the pawn go back in the same box.

Italian proverb.


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